I remember when you were a little girl,
the most precious gift God had ever bestowed upon me.
I would stare at you for hours,
it was not easy to simply accept you were ours to keep.
As you slept at night I stood by the side of your crib,
feelings of tenderness swept through me.
Many nights, in spite better judgment
I would take you in my arms just once more.
You would lie on my chest
and that fuzzy stuff we called your hair
would tickle my nose
It was so wonderful to just hold you and kiss you then.
As you grew, your personality shined loud and clear.
Such pride for such a little thing.
You wanted to be self-sufficient
even when you fell you would push others away,
you demanded to be left alone until you recovered.
Once back on your feet you allowed the consolations of a hug and
a kiss
to help the hurt go away some.
Thinking back I realize you haven’t changed much,
just that the stakes are higher now.
One cannot as easily recover from the falls you are working toward
and now two would fall in lieu of just one.
I will never say it was just bad influences or bad friends,
I think higher of you than that.
You are strong and make your own decisions,
although who you surround yourself with might limit your choices
by a lot.
I‘ve had to be the strong one,
doing things I know you could hate me for
crying myself to sleep at night
knowing that if I don’t we would for sure loose you.
Once I felt it was the end of the world,
not to mention the end of your life.
Fortunately, I was wrong, it was just the end of your youth.
The most wonderful little angel
blessed our lives and our home.
Our acceptance and love we thought was enough
but evidence shows otherwise.
Although trapped in the life of a woman
you still want the life of a girl.
Slowly fear returned
tarnishing all we could enjoy.
Or was it always there
and we just didn’t want to see it?
Despair, sadness and sorrow are back
and I was the one left to inflict the ultimatum.
It has been the most painful thing I have ever done
I cannot even begin to explain how I feel.
An enormous part of our lives has been torn away.
We risked loosing you both permanently,
had we not let you go temporarily.
Take a day, a week, a month or a year
and make the decision that would give you a chance at life,
not one that would destroy you forever.
Our prayers are that in time you realize
that what was done was viewed as the only way to save you.
Maybe not now, but in years to come
when you give yourself the credit you deserve
when you give yourself a real chance at life
when you give our beautiful little girl a chance to grow up.
One day all this will be behind us,
hopefully by then you have found your way.
So young and with such responsibilities
may God guide every step of your life
since we cannot be there now to let you know what will hurt you.
There would be nothing easier than to give in,
to look the other way and as many others pretend we don’t
care
but I would be signing a double death sentence
if I were to let you continue the path you have taken.
Because I love you,
I cannot allow you to self-destroy.
Because I love you
I cannot make that easier for you.
Because I love you
I cannot watch and do nothing.
A home you will have here always
I know deep inside you know that well.
All we ask is that you give our little girl a chance to survive
and that that little boy is brought up with love and not fear.
Please care for that little angel you were blessed with
even if you don’t do the right thing for yourself, do it
for him.
He loves you unconditionally
he is the only one that asks for nothing in return.
Because I love you
I have let you go.
.copyright © MV
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Because I Love You
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